Please Don't Eat Me
by Hybrid-Sunshine
Summary: Chase finally accepts Jack as his lackey. Though, Jack is a little concerned about what Chase wants to do to him... Sort of ChaseJack. Rated for language and... questionable content. ONESHOT ...Heeheehee. Scared ya, huh?


This is my very first song-like fic. Sorry if it's sort of sucky.

Disclaimer: I'm too twisted to own Xiaolin Showdown. I don't own the song lyrics, for they belong to the makers of "Excel Saga". The lyrics are from the beginning and ending theme songs "Ai (Love)" and "Menchi - Aishuu no Boreru - Shokusu no ne (Boleru of Regret)". They're both Japanese, so the wording of the lyrics will be different.

_Italics - song lyrics_

**WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE CANNIBALISM, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ THIS, THOUGH, IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AND IT'S ONLY IMPLIED, DOES THAT COUNT AS CANNIBALISM...? I DON'T KNOW!**

--

Please Don't Eat Me...

**Jack POV**

Chase finally let me be his lackey! All the months of begging and pleading finally paid off!

However, I was beginning to get suspicious as to why he chose me _now_ instead of way back when...

_From that day I noticed_

_the reason you became close_

_was that the tenderness of my body was to your liking_

I smelled something yummy coming from Chase's kitchen while I was working on a robot in my room in Chase's lair. My stomach growled and I obeyed it by opening the door and walking down the hallway to the kitchen.

There, I saw Chase chopping some vegetables on the counter. He paused and started grounding some pepper into a pot of something boiling. I was surprised that it wasn't a servant that was slaving over a hot stove. Chase whirled around to face me, since I must've made a sound. I saw that he was wearing an apron that said "Kiss the Cook" in big bold letters on the front. But there was something weird about his eyes when he saw me...

_How does this body reflect in those eyes enduring hunger?_

_If you eat me now, instantly, so that the meat does not become tough._

He smirked at me. "Hello, Spicer. Nice of you to join me for dinner."

I smiled hestantly at him. God, I love that smirk! "Yeah, what are we having?"

Chase stared at me for a second, then began chuckling maliciously. I raised an eyebrow at him and laughed nervously. He began walking towards me, still holding the knife that he was using to chop the vegetables. Before I could do anything, I was in his arms, Chase was stroking my hair, and my face was pressed against his chest.

_In your embracing arms, if you come holding tightly, the painful_

_salt and pepper of the kitchen, the shining dull blade, it's so hateful_

_More than tomorrow's dreams, this body is suited more for oil._

I wasn't sure what I should have felt at the time. Should I feel happy that Chase was voluntarily touching me? Or should I feel afraid at the fact that he was holding a knife very close to my back and he didn't give me a real answer when I asked what was for dinner...?

Then, I figured it out.

_From that day when I noticed,_

_that there is no reason for this cursed fate._

I pushed myself from Chase Young's grip and backed away into the wall as far away from him as possible.

"You sick twisted freak!"

Chase put on an expression of fake hurt. "'Freak' is such a strong word. I like to think of myself as 'unique' or just 'different'."

"YOU WANT TO EAT ME!"

"So?"

_No! Really! No! Life is precious!_

_Please! Stop and think! Do you have no love for animals in your heart!_

_But now, I'm just right for eating._

Now, I REALLY wanted to get away. Chase began stalking towards me, a crazed grin plastered on his face.

_But no! Please no pain! No heat!_

_But cook me to the centre,_

_Don't just eat me raw!_

Chase stopped about a foot in front of me, still holding the gleaming knife. "If you want to escape, escape then."

_What are you saying?_

_But honestly don't! _

_"If you want to escape, escape then" you say?_

_You need to add more cabbage._

I thought about it. Am I really so loyal that I would actually allow Chase to eat me? Um...

_OW! OW! OW! HOT! HOT! HOT!_

_There's no medium thick sauce? NO!_

_DON'T EAT ME!_

_But you're going to deliciously eat me? GOD NO!_

Chase waited for my answer, though it didn't really take me long to come up with my reply.

_Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!_

_And we get the hell out! And we get the hell out! And we get the hell out!_

_TONZURA KOITE!_

"FREAKIN' CANNIBAL!"

With that, I high-tailed it out of there. I ran out onto the ledge that formed the entrance to Chase's lair, activated my Heli-bot, and flew all the way back to my house. I pushed open the front door, ran up the stairs, kicked open the door to my room, ran inside, and locked the many locks. I then jumped onto my bed and covered my head with my pillow and blankets.

--

**Chase POV**

I watched young Spicer fly off, but I didn't follow him. I simply shrugged and went back inside, throwing the apron into one of the pots of fire as I went.

I continued walking until I reached the dining room where Wuya, Hannibal Bean, and Katnappe were sitting at the table, waiting for me. They looked expectantly at me.

"He failed the Heylin Initiation." I told them.

The three villains that were sitting laughed while I merely grinned and snickered.

Katnappe had calmed enough to choke out, "I knew he'd never make it!"

"Yeah, he's too much of a coward!" Wuya agreed, wiping a tear from her eye.

The talking bean put on a thoughtful expression. "Well, _I _thought Spicer'd be loyal enough to do whatever Chase said."

I nodded. "Mm. Disappointing..."

Wuya and Katnappe then held out their hands. "Pay up!"

I sighed and dug into one of my pockets and pulled out $50. Along with Bean, I handed over the betting money to the women.

--

Heeheehee... I have such a sick mind. Just so you know, Chase wasn't really gonna eat Jack. It was just a bet to see if Jack (unknown to Jack of course) would actually be loyal enough to let Chase eat him, thus passing the Heylin Initiation (I don't really own the initiation thing, it belongs to someone on TV . com but I do own the thing he had to do, though). Also, I'm pretty sure "tonzura koite" means "and we get the hell out".


End file.
